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And the winner of ‘American Idol’ Season 11 is…Jennifer Holiday. Oops. I’m sorry. That’s not right. It was Phillip Phillips. No surprise. And with that the journey comes to an end. Another ‘Idol’ season in the books and another year in which a white guy with a guitar has stolen the hearts of America (‘s teenage girls). Congrats, Phillip. I’m not what you’d call a fan, but what can you do? You came, you relaxed (and slept! For ten hours!) and you rode your groovy laid back steeze to the confetti shower. The big question, though, is will Phil be another Lee Dewyze or Kris Allen. Wait, is there a difference? But, last night’s finale wasn’t only about crowning an ‘Idol,’ not by a long shot. It was also about filling two hours with mindless clip packages and rolling out some corpses to sing with kids! Fun!

The show opened with the eliminated contestants thrown together for a GROUP NUMBER. Shannon Magrane was really going for it here and throughout the night. I think she knew this may be her last moment and girl was milking it! Joshua did a split, then fell while getting up, but he seemed incredibly good humored about it. It’s amazing what having the pall of the ‘Idol’ machine not hanging over you can do for your personality.
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Hey it’s Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin! Wait, that’s Jane Lynch and she loves Chaka Kahn. Look, look, look LAUREN ALAINA’S MOM!!! It’s the ‘Idol’ finale, suckah!
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Phillip sang with John Fogerty and it was fine. You know what? Let’s get these out of the way. Also fine was a duet between Hollie and Jordin Sparks. Not as fine were the Top 6 women singing with Chaka Kahn and not because the contestants were bad per se, this medley just didn’t do much for them. They’re not really Chaka Khan singers. The boys sang with Neil Diamond because he’s a relevant artist that a lot of these kids listen to regularly. Skyler sang with Reba and it was the best. Skyler looks like a pro. She’ll sell more records than Phillip and Jessica combined. Country is strong market for ‘Idol’ contestants and they always do well. Even Bucky Covington had a number one song on the country charts! Bucky! Bucky! Bucky! Then there was Fantasia and Joshua. A lot of people will be talking about Fantasia’s outfit, but whatever. I don’t get into people’s appearances. The hot mess of a vocal, however is fair game. I love Fantasia. She’s one of the best ‘Idol’ contestants in history, but between the two of them screaming and testifying, I couldn’t follow this thing. They are great performers and I’m sure they just got caught up in the moment. Nevertheless, ugh.

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I’m not talking about J.Lo’s performance except to say COME ON! REALLY? TWO SONGS? OF THIS? PLEASE! STOP THIS NOW!
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There was a montage of Jimmy constantly messing up in taping his interviews by calling J.Lo “Jessica,” mostly, I’d imagine, because she means nothing to him. It was pretty great. There are a lot of reasons to knock Jimmy, but he seems relatively good humored and he actually helps these kids grow with constructive criticism.
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There was another bit where the kids all sang the phone book to lovingly mock Randy’s overuse of the term. It was cute and inoffensive. Everybody sounded good and Shannon was ON IT! I also realized I like DeAndre Brackensick. The bit ended with Joshua going off the rails, screaming while his fellow contestants rolled their eyes, annoyed. Again, a lot of personality from Joshua and funny bit of self deprecation never hurts anyone. Good on ya, Josh.
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Ace Young proposed to Diana Degarmo. You remember them? They were on this show. It was so manufactured and gross. Ace Young’s really turned into a pretty insufferable presence (“We conquered Broadway.”)
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The main even of this show was supposed to be the crowning of new ‘American Idol,’ but it wasn’t. If you fast forwarded your way through the finale, you best go back because the great Jennifer Holiday provided what was easily the best moment of the whole season. Ms. Holiday came out to sing “And I’m Telling You” with Jessica and damn if it wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever seen. This woman went out there and performed this song like it was her last time. She left it all on the stage and managed to pull the most personality out of Jessica that we’ve ever seen. I can’t say enough about this and I’m certainly not doing it justice. It was flawless

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And that’s it. It’s been quite a journey through Season 11. There’ve been a few ups, a thousand downs, but it’s ‘Idol’ and we’re not going anywhere. See you next season!